pink lungs.

mother & daughter/acrylic on canvas/2004

"how the pink lungs of their bodies

enter the fire of the world

and stand their

shining & willing"

mary oliver (moccasin flowers)

and now my body is creating pink lungs again, fleshy toes and a toosh i will want to eat for the rest of my life and a face, 2 eyes, 2 ears, lips and a nose... how will they form? what shape will they take? each piece full with stories, each of her cells laden in our poems, his and mine, inside skin, inside this belly, growing, happening now and we already know this story is so different than the first and one would think, many have said "you know what's ahead" and i don't agree with them as i have no idea what's ahead, only different... creating a womb again, this time on a lower floor. there is fear this time.. and she is loud, clear, very vocal. horns on her head and maybe this story goes through my vagina.. horns and all.. so afraid and then i write and its with a swatch of exciting - i think i need to be living here more, exploring this deeper water.. definitely deeper this time around.. and warmer... so it holds me in a more scared and sacred place.. so intimate the journey.. and the desire to collaborate is here too. getting closer to the fear.. sewing cashmere around the cold, bringing her in, the beauty in me, the trembling girl, the incision, the stories of all the wombs before me, huddling up together and starting this conversation.. with a thread and a needle, words on a page, color, freedom, fighting the layers that must be warm to rise, to be seen, to be aware of, to be ok with, to sink deeper into the unknown, keep swimming and allowing, don't come back to the shallow end to explain it all.. keep swimming in the warm, mending the cold, stitching myself in the sacred where it feels natural, aligned, i see my face there... i have to stay down there, i get scared up here... down there breeds the flora of curiosity, discovering something familiar but not yet apart of me, available if willing.... keep swimming down to the warm parts, where i can sink into that wisdom, the seeds of self, the pink lungs that yearn only to breathe, bloom, be in the bright opening of it all and to embrace it fully before i come up for air and share it with all the others.

august, 2010.

reconnect....

wow.. i have been around the corner pouring the love into a conversation i so deeply believe in of nourishing all the mamas in the world.. and definitely in our country.... empowering and inspiring them to connect intimately to their need to be fed... and it feeds me too... and so does the word... and i miss you over here... and yes.. there is a beauty in my belly.. she is here and ready to rock and roll... i want to share more about her, the journey, the dark and the light spots, the exposed photo collage of this time, this life... the life of a renaissance mama... i am happy to be here.. so blessed to grow in this way... i will be back sooner than later.. till then.. may we all keep growing, eating, feeding each otherxxx